Down the Rabbit Hole
by JoyJoy101
Summary: The mind is like a rabbit hole, where it leads, nobody knows ...
1. Chapter 1

To all you avid readers of "Changed", I should be back for "good" and "Changed" and my other stories should be updated/finished in the future. They haven't been forgotten and a major "spelling check" + clean up is scheduled for them but for the time being, we have "Down the Rabbit Hole". Enjoy

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this storyline.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

For awhile, Leonardo and I acted like … like brothers. Sure, we still fought but it didn't seem to have the raw intensity which it has now. Gee, we can't even look at each other without starting a fight. I know now the Shredder has brought guns into our little war that Leonardo is on edge but that's not my fault … or anybody else's!!! He doesn't need to lecture us on our safety, how "evil" and "dishonorable" guns are and blah blah blah. He got Mikey so worked up once; he started to cry and refused to leave his room for hours.

Then he got hungry.

Now I can understand he is concerned for our wellbeing but he is going way too far with the protective brother thing. I'm my own turtle; I can take care of myself. I don't need a babysitter and I don't need to be told what to do. And that is where this ALL started.

"Your not going to the surface!"

"You can't tell me what to do _Leonie_" Leonardo hates it when I call him that, even worse then "Fearless"

"Oh yes I can _Raphaelle_ and you can't go!" I hate it when he calls me that.

"Well who died and made you leader!"

"… _splinter_"

It was little more then a whisper but it had the same effect as if he'd shouted.

I hung my head in shame. How could I bring that up? Splinter had been the first to fall to the Shredders new toy. Just thinking about it made me start to panic. We'd been in the lair when _it_ happened.

We'd gone out on a training run and been delayed, it was something stupid; we can't even remember what it was now …

It was when Shredder had first started using guns. Splinter, being the protective parent he was, got worried and set out to find us. At the same time, Shredder had sent a patrol down into the sewers to see if they could flush us out.

We figure we must have missed him by only a few minutes … to think if we had only been a few minutes quicker, this might have all been different.

Splinter went out into the sewers and we came down the lift. We'd just got home and just had enough time to release Splinter wasn't in his room … when we heard a semi-automatic rifle go off.

I remember looking at Leonardo, only to see his face lose all its colour. Before we could even react, he charged out into the sewers. When we finally caught up, we found him cradling the dead body of our master … our father. The bastards who had killed him were sliced up and scattered all over the floor and blood was everywhere. Even before we left, the rats had come to feed.

Leonardo was inconsolable for weeks afterwards. He would just lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling … all day. But he never cried. I can remember seeing him cry while cradling Master Splinter and he had silent tears running down his face at the funeral but after that, nothing.

And then one day, he just seemed to snap out of it. He plunged back into his ninjitsu training. He'd train from dawn until dust, until he was more sweat then flesh, until his feet had been rubbed raw from the concrete beneath him and they had begun to bleed. I don't know how many times he passed out in the dojo and we didn't find out until the next morning. And with this new found eagerness to destroy his body came the over protectiveness.

We had to train harder, faster, longer and do this right, get this perfect. We couldn't move without being scrutinized! It wasn't until, through fatigue and being overworked, Mikey slipped and broke his leg that Leonardo let up a little. Only on us mind you. He still trains till three in the morning, goes to bed and is up by six to begin morning practice.

Our family was beginning to unravel. There are changes in everyone. Donny was overworking himself by repairing appliances but when you start to deliberately break things, something isn't right. Mikey is the happy go lucky person he always was but the smile is fake and I can still hear him cry himself to sleep. Me, well I sneak out, bash a few heads, get into a few more fights and get home before sunrise to a broken famil … household. Me … I'm fine.

But I can't be in the lair at night. You can't even tell if it's nighttime down here but I know, I get this feeling. I start to panic. Splinter was shot at night and I can still remember the sound of the bullets echoing off the walls. I don't want to ever go through that again. So I ran away. That's why I can't stay in the lair at night. That's why I sneak out at night. This is why I am now arguing with our "wise and beloved" leader.

Raising my head and looking at Leo, I begin to feel the walls of the lair close in on me. My palms begin to get sweaty … I start to panic. This was around the time we came home. Any minute now, I could hear those shots fired again. My chest starts to seize up …

" … Raph"

Leonardo has taken a step forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. He looks at me worriedly. I begin to notice my body has broken out into a shiver.

"Maybe you should just stay home … you don't look too good"

Something within me snaps. How dare he judge me when he himself is coming apart at the seams. All the rage, grief and sorrow … all the emotions I've bottled up inside come to the surface as I bring back my fist and punch him. He staggers backwards.

"What right do you have to tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't care whether your Leo or the president of the United States, you don't own me and you damn well don't rule me!" I howled at him.

Leonardo shrunk back, hurt written across his face,

"I only do it because I care" He murmurs

"Well stop it!" I shout "I don't need your care, I don't need your help and I certainly don't need you. Why can't you just leave me alone!"

"It's because I care"

"I don't care if you care! You only care because you don't want to let Sensei down. Well guess what Leo; he's dead so I don't think he gives a damn!"

Leo looked beyond hurt … shattered might be the word … yet he still persists

"Raph"

'I don't want to hear it Leo"

"Raphael please" He begged

"Shut up Leo" I shouted, turning away.

I try to block him out but I'm beginning to suffocate in here. The walls … there closing in. Leonardo goes to open his mouth again but I beat him.

"I hate you"

Leo looks bewildered.

"W ... what?"

"I hate you" I repeat "Why can't you just leave me alone"

And with that, I flee the lair.

The rocks of guilt begin to build up in my stomach but I push them away. I run as fast as I can until I find a manhole cover and I spring up the ladder. Throwing aside the cover, I burst out into the open air. I just stand there, breathing in the heavily polluted air common in New York … yet to me; it is like taking a breath after nearly drowning, nothing ever tasted sweeter.

NO more constricting walls, no more fear of the past … no more Leonardo.

I replaced the lid and run to a fire escape. Climbing up, I was on the roof in no time and bounding away from my problems.

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

"_I hate you" _

Raphael had left minutes ago and yet, I could still hear his words echoing in my ears like he'd just said them. Did he really hate me?

I heard movement behind me and I saw Mikey peaking out from the kitchen.

"Hey Mikey" I try to sound cheerful but fail miserably.

"Is he gone?"

I let out a sigh.

I didn't want to hear the argument I just had and I certainly didn't want either of my other brothers to hear it. And yet, they had.

"Yeah" I answered.

"Alone?"

I give him a nod.

Since Splinter … left, Mikey doesn't like any of us leaving the lair alone. He's afraid that if one of us is left alone for just a split second, we'll go too.

"Y … You should go after him … he might need y-y-you" he says shakily.

"Not from what I hear" I mutter.

With this, Mikey starts to panic, you can tell it now, he begins to shake and sweat, his pupils also seem to grow. I know the only thing stopping Mikey from racing out after Raphael is the fact that his leg is still in plaster and he has trouble walking. Matter of fact … he shouldn't be standing.

"Mikey, you should be in bed" I try to put a bit of authority into my voice but I'm just too tired. I start to walk over to him; he'll need help to get to bed.

"But …but what about Raph?"

I stop. I know I won't get him to bed until he knows Raph is safe … or knows that some one will make sure he is safe. And that person means me. I let out a sigh.

I can't do this any more.

"Don't worry about Raph, Mikey, I'll go look for him"

Mikey brightens up straight away. I go over and sling one of his arms over my shoulder.

"But first, you better get back to bed before Don kills me"

"Don't worry about Don" Mikey tells me "He fell asleep at his computer … _again_"

Donny's been doing that a lot lately; I think it's just his way of showing grief. I have to talk to him about it … but I have more urgent problems.

We'd reach the couch a.k.a Mikeys bed. It was too much trouble to get him up and down the flight of stairs leading to his room … so his bedroom came to him.

I sat Mikey down, found the t.v. remote, got him a packet of chips, went and got another packet because he doesn't like "salt and vinegar" and was about to leave when …

"Leo"

"Yeah" I said, hoping he didn't want a drink or something.

"Look out for Raph"

Thinking that was weird, I gave him a nod and started out after my brother.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Tonight was a quiet night. Nobody was out; nobody was getting robbed, mugged, bashed or nothing. But I wasn't going home. I still needed to breathe.

I'd been out for a good hour or two before I got the sense that I was being followed. Just something I could feel, a sixth sense, and I hate being followed.

I really _hate_ being followed.

I decide to be patient for once, play their game and come at them when the time was right.

After a few minutes, I came across the perfect situation. A roof top of a smaller building, the one I am standing on, backed onto taller buildings on three sides. This not only created a small space, it cast a shadow. Perfect. How many times did Master Splinter say "Be one with the shadows" and how many times did Leonardo nag that "you never listen to Splinter". Of course I did, I listened to what interested me and ignored the rest.

But now I had my chance to get the stalker. I could have sniggered with excitement; they had no idea what they were getting into. I felt like a spider awaiting its prey. Now, all I had to do was wait …

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I'd been following Raph for quite awhile. Wouldn't he gloat. The "Fearless" leader too afraid to go talk to his brother. Not that I'm afraid … I just don't want another fight. I'm tired, tired of fighting, of running after everyone, trying to get them to train, respect Master Splinters last wishes, eat, drink shudder bath. To nag at them not to go out alone, get them to tell me where they were going, to be careful of the Shredder and his guns. I was fighting a losing battle, one in which I would never win.

I came to a building which backed onto three taller ones and realize, I've lost him. Great, just great. Raph would be hysterical by now.,

I moved towards the shadows to see if I missed anything, when I see movement. I spun just in time to see something pounce on me. It hit me and we landed on the floor. Punching me in the mouth, it moved to grab something from its belt. Seeing an opening, I pull my legs up and kick it off.

I roll away and stagger to my feet.

"Leo?"

Looking up, I see Raphael.

He gaped at me but quickly collected himself.

"What the HELL are you doing here?!!!" He shouts at me.

I brought a hand to my face where he'd hit me. Just my luck, straight on top of the other bruise. I could feel the heat radiating off my skin.

"I asked you a question LEO!"

Bringing my attention back to Raph, I watched him seethe with rage.

Looking away, I mutter.

"Mikey sent me"

"WHAT!" he screams back at me.

"MIKEY SENT ME!" I scream back. I finally lost my cool … when did I start doing that. Oh yeah … since Splinter died.

"Great" Raphael shouts "Just great, as if our family wasn't screwed enough but now, we got our beloved leader taking orders from the village idiot!"

"Don't call him that!" I shout back … but I did try to calm my voice … tried "And I never said I was your leader!"

"Don't pull that shit on me Leo" Raphael shouts as he storms towards me.

I hold my ground as he stopped, inches from my face.

"What are you but the leader 24/7? What are you but a nag, a whiner, a Splinter Junior, a nuisance, an arrogant, son of a …"

I let him rant and rave. I let him go on and on and call me every name that came to his head. I let him call me every useless piece of crap he could and I let him word it in every possible way. I let him do it … because I don't care anymore. I was only hoping that he would tire himself out so that he wouldn't put up too much of a fight when I dragged him home.

I could see Raphael was just beginning to run out of breath when movement behind his right shoulder caught my attention. One moment, the building behind was empty, a second later; I swear something or somebody moved along the top. I squinted my eyes; I swear I saw something …

But this must have been the moment Raphael noticed I wasn't paying him any attention.

"Hey I'm talking to you!" he shouts as he grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

My attention pulled away for a second, I move to remove Raphael's grip but stop when I see a figure come into full view, standing on the building above.

I freeze as I see him straighten to full height.

I don't even move as Raphael draws back his hand to strike me again.

I don't move when I see the assailant lift up the gun and level it, pointing straight at Raphael's unsuspecting shell.

I only move when Raphael's fist is centimeters from my check, and as I see the assailant tighten his finger on the trigger.

Ducking, I moved to the side and pushed Raphael out of the way.

I think I heard him cry in surprise as the gun went off, and I felt a hot, sharp pain erupt in my chest.

I think I fell to my knees …

I think …

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

I am pissed.

I am so **_pissed!_**

First, I must have seemed like such a fool to Leonardo. He probably thought I didn't know he was following me and that I was unsuspecting of an "unfamiliar" presence for over a half an hour! OR even worse, he might have just been following me to get on my nerves and then jump me when the time was right.

Second, I hide and he follows, right into my trap. Yet I didn't even get too hit him hard enough. My one real chance to kill him and say it was an accident and I wasted it!

Third and finally, I then shame myself even more by exploding in his face yet he doesn't have the decency to listen. No he just looks vaguely over my shoulder and then, pushes me out of the way when I go to hit him, causing me to land smack bang on my face. What the HELL happened to a good fight! What the Hell happened to him accepting the blow, throwing one of his own and then we can beat the crap out of each other! And now where the Hell has he got to!!!

I push myself off the ground with my arms, joints creaking and cracking. Boy, did he push me hard … I think I skinned my chin when I hit the floor … I certainly bite my tongue. I gingerly sit up; feeling the missing skin on my chin … when something catches my attention …

I spin around, towards the noise and … NO!

"NOOO!!!" I scream

Lying on his side, blood gushing out of a chest wound, blood pouring from his mouth and him coughing, trying to clear his throat, to breathe even though he knows he is dieing … Leonardo

"_**NOOO!!!" **_

I scream as I scramble over to him. Tears are forming at the sides of his eyes and running down his cheeks. His eyes are themselves scrunched up in pain and his breathing is marred but a chesty sound … blood must be pouring into his lungs …

Moaning in pain, he cries out as I grab hold of him. Cradling him, I can see his mouth drawn back in a painful, silent cry and his hands rigid in agony … I see his eyes begin to cloud over.

"_**LEO!!!"**_

Sobbing, I shake him as he pants for breath … his last breaths

Tears are running fast and hard down my cheeks, when I hear it again … that cocking sound … the cocking of a gun … I thought it was only the sound of my fist connecting with Leonardo …

I look up towards the noise … as Leonardo gives his last shuddering breaths, cradled in my arms, I look into the face of his murder … my murder …

I hope Mikey and Don are safe … I hope he never finds them …

He levels the gun at us … one last time

Leo gives one final shuddering breath … before becoming limp in my grasp

_**BANG**_

**_

* * *

_**

Well, what did you all think? Don't forget to send a review with your thoughts etc. Constructive criticism welcomed, praised demanded (lol) but flames, as I read once before, will be used for little more then cooking.


	2. Chapter 2

Back again, and actually quickly this time. Thank you all who reviewed and I would have replied, but I'm not so sure of how that works. Anyway, hope you enjoy and please review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this storyline.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

"NOOO!!!" I howl as I jolt awake, panting what little air seems to be in my lungs.

I give another cry as I tumble out of my hammock, immediately curling up on the floor, grasping my head with my hands and sobbing uncontrollable. What have I done … he's dead … Leonardo is dead … what have I done

I scream this time, filling it with all my feelings of grief, screaming until my voice catches in throat and I choke, jolting back

His face, his dead, lifeless face, pale beyond comparison, mouth drawn back, eyes wide open, blood dripping from his lips

"_I hate you Leo" … "why won't you leave me alone"_

I scream again

_**CRASH **_

"RAPH!!! RAPH WHERE ARE YOU!!!"

Looking up from my position on the floor, I see Mikey dart towards me, concern written all over his face.

I pick up the nearest thing and throw it

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" I scream

He dodges but keeps coming forward

"NO!" I scream again and kick out at him.

He moves backwards

"WHATS GOING ON HERE" Don shouts as he rushes in, his lab coat billowing behind him.

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" I scream, picking up another object and throwing it.

It barely misses his face

"HEY!" He shouts

He too moves towards me …

"NOOO!!! GO AWAY!!! LEO!!!" I scream

Sliding backwards on the floor, trying to get away from them, their comforting hands, their concerned hands, no they couldn't come near me … no … NO!

My shell knocks into something hard and I lash out, knocking over my punching bag. It smashes into my cupboard, shattering one of the windows and showering glass everywhere. Mikey and Don duck for cover but I just sit, glass landing all around me, some bits cutting into me, but I only have attention for this, my cupboard

Scooting across the glass, I swing open one of the smaller doors and climb in, slamming it shut as Mikey and Don once again draw near …

Its dark in here, enclosed and dark, nobody can get me in here, and I can't get them out there …

Once again, I curl up and continue my laments of grief ...

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

Its funny how you can't fall asleep for hours, yet when you do, you sleep like a log. That is why I didn't wake up immediately after Raphael screamed out. I heard the commotion when Raphael was screaming for Mikey to get away but I only thought Mikey had played a practical joke. It was only when I heard Don enter the room and something was thrown at him, I decided it wasn't as innocent as I thought it was.

Bolting out of bed, I ran to Raphael's room and found a sai embedded in the wall at head height … but it was the chaos of the room that shocked me.

Out of all my brothers, Raphael is by far not the worst but this … this was a disaster zone. Furniture was scattered all over the room, a layer of glass covered everything and even worse, I could smell the coppery smell of blood.

As I entered, Don and Mikey drew back … from the cupboard? Giving them an inquisitive look, I went to ask them what they were doing, only to be shushed by Don and summoned over. Drawing near, I could hear sounds coming from within the cupboard, somebody was … crying?

And that person could only be Raphael …

Alarm must have showed on my face because as I went to step forward, Don held me back. He put a finger to his lips and using his hands, signed to me to listen.

That's when I heard my name being called …

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Why did he have to follow me … why couldn't have just left me alone!!!

Pounding the insides of the cupboard made my fists hurt but it was welcomed … it at least was some feeling … all I felt was numb.

Pulling my hands back and cupping my face, I felt a sticky substance on my hands … blood.

I laugh … how ironic … I have blood on my hands … realistically and metaphorically

I scream again for the lose of my brother

"_**LEO!!!"**_

I end in a moan, why did he have to follow me … why couldn't it have been me

I hear someone walking across the glass, it was crunching under their feet

I tense up, I can't let my remaining brothers near me, I can't let them die too.

" … Raph"

I freeze.

" … Raphael, are you okay?"

No, it can't be, I … I saw him die. He died; in my arms … it can't be Leonardo.

"Raph, it's Leo, can you come out?"

I shake my head, this must be a dream.

"Raph, if you don't open the door, I'm going to have to open it … please come out"

Uncurling myself, I shifted so I could open the door. I was drawn to the voice, I couldn't stop myself, I had to know if it was real, I had to know if he was real.

I slowly open the door and crawl into the light.

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I could hear him crying, but I could also hear him calling my voice. He sounded so … broken. I couldn't understand what had happened too him … and how it involved me.

He had finally stopped beating on the walls of the cupboard, probably exhausted himself, now all we could hear was his sobbing and he murmuring my name. If only Master Splinter was here, he would know what to do …

"_**LEO!!!"**_

All of us jumped back and I swear if Sensei was here, his ears would have flattened back. His cry was so loud and it ended in a moan … I had to act.

Motioning for Mikey and Don to move back, in case Raphael threw something else sharp, I move towards the door to the cupboard.

" … Raph?"

All sound inside the cupboard stopped, I couldn't even hear him crying any more.

" … Raphael, are you okay?" I tried. I just wanted him to talk, to hear his voice and say he was okay. I wouldn't have even minded if he had of got out of the cupboard, threw us all out of his room and never spoke of the night again, as long as I could hear his voice and know he was okay.

"Raph, it's Leo, can you come out?"

I hear a slight movement inside the cupboard, but he doesn't appear. It's now I'm really starting to worry, he won't even talk. I decide on slightly drastic measures.

"Raph, if you don't open the door, I'm going to have to open it … please come out"

I try to put force into the sentence but I knew I ended with it sounding like a plea, but I didn't think he was going to come out …

However, I hear movement in the cupboard and the door slowly creaks open. First, his head comes out, two bloody hand prints on his bald head and as more of his body comes out, I can see bits of glass poking out of his skin. His hands are also a bloody mess but what catches me by surprise, is his actions when he see's me …

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Crawling out of the cupboard, the first thing I saw … was him. He really was alive.

Even before my brain had commanded my legs to, I was stumbling the short distance between us and throwing my arms around him. On embrace, I burst into tears and held him tight. A bit taken back at first, he slowly returns the embrace. I think he was even further taken back, along with Mikey and Don, when I nuzzle his neck. I couldn't help myself, I'd thought he was dead, yet here he was, I could touch him, smell him and see him and a damn well wasn't going to let him go!

I wasn't going to let go …

"It's okay Raph" Leo murmurs in my ear "I'm here now, it's okay"

But I don't believe him, not after what I've seen. I keep my hold.

"It was only a dream" he says "It was only a really bad dream"

It was only a dream … it had to be; here he was, alive in front of me.

"It was only a dream?" I murmur, drawing back enough to look at him.

He nods.

I lesson my hold a little but don't relinquish it. Leonardo must have understood I need to be close because when he stands up, he pulls me up with him.

"Donny, grab the medical kit"

It was only then I notice the blood seeping from wounds on my body. None of them were threatening but I'm sure Leo was worried. It was nice to think he was alive and could worry.

He leads me towards my hammock but decides against it … how would my wounds be treated. So he leads me out of my room and into his. Sitting me on his bed, he holds my hand and gently squeezes it every now and then as Donny attends to my wounds … personally more like scratches. Removing the glass and applying the disinfectant hurt, but it was nothing to the pain I had experienced before.

Before long, Donny finished, packed his things and left for his own room. Leonardo helps me lie down and covers me with his blanket. As he went to leave, I grab his hand.

"Don't go" I say "I haven't told you what happened"

He turns back to me.

"It can wait for the morning" he replies "And you should get some rest"

"Please stay" I beg

Releasing my hold on his hand, he grabs one of his chairs and sits beside the bed.

He caresses my forehead and smiles.

"Go to sleep"

And I do.

* * *

(((Later)))

I slowly stir from my slumber. Moving my bandaged arms, I wipe the sleep from my eyes.

"Your finally awake"

I sleepily turn over to face Mikey.

"Yeah" I murmur, slightly embarrassed at how the events turned out. They must think of me as such a wimp.

"… sorry" I mutter.

Mikey looks at me.

"What for?"

Typical Mikey, makes me explain everything …

"Sorry for going ballistic and chucking the stuff at you"

He laughs.

"That's okay, nothing I'm not used to" He puts his hand on my shoulder and gives it a tender squeeze "I'm glad you're back though"

I nod and settle down on the bed again. I'm still tired and my body hurts. It's funny though, I feel better in Leo's bed, protected I suppose, surrounded by his smell. Of course, I would never tell him or any of my brothers that. The old me's coming back.

I just begin to drift off again when Mikey speaks.

"What were you dreaming about?"

I open my eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it Mikey"

He looks a bit hurt.

"You wanted to tell Leo though"

Even when you think you're alone in this house, you never are …

"It doesn't concern you"

Now he looks really hurt.

I turn over, away from him.

"I might tell you after talking to Leo" I say, hoping it makes the situation a bit better but doubting it. I just don't feel like talking to anyone but Leonardo at the moment and unless I rebuff Mikey, he won't leave me alone.

"Don't bother" Mikey says as he stands up "It can't be that important anyway" Yep, I've hurt him and now he's going to sulk.

I watch as he walks around the bed and towards the door.

Before walking out, he stops in the doorway.

"You'll be waiting awhile to talk to Leo" he says "He left a few hours ago for a run and we haven't seen him since"

A cold dread washes over me as Mikey leaves the room and I grip the blankets tight. I feel sick. He left a few hours ago and they haven't seen him. And after what I just saw …

I should have told him!

What if it wasn't a dream but a premonition, warning me about the danger Leonardo was facing. I can't let him die again!!!

I rip the covers off me and bolt out of bed. Hobbling a little from my pins and needle filled legs; I make my way to my bedroom.

Gaping slightly at the disaster zone I've created, I grab my sai's and walk out into the lair … and straight into Don.

"Hey what are you doing up?" he asks in concern.

I push past him. "I got to go out" I shout over my shoulder.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and are spun around.

"You're not going anywhere" Don shouts at me, obviously shocked "Your going back to bed and staying there"

I shrug off his hand.

"Look you don't understand, I got to go now!"

Don goes to speak again but I'm wasting time. Valuable time.

Don never saw the fist coming but he sure felt it as he fell to the floor. Mikey shouted something as he ran past to get to Don but I wasn't paying attention, I was already out into the sewers, pulling the bandages off and running towards Leonardo. I think I knew where he would be anyway.

I sprinted through the night, the wind wiping my bandana behind me and it didn't take long to reach the building. Anyway, I knew exactly where I as going this time. Yet, he wasn't here. I looked all over but could find no trace of him. Now I was at a loss. Maybe it _was_ just a stupid dream and I was overreacting. Maybe I shouldn't have punched Don because when I return; it will probably be the last time I'm seen alive after Don extracts his revenge.

Its only when I'm preparing to leave that I see him. Sitting on one of the buildings above, feet hanging off the edge and seeming to be enjoying the view, Leonardo just sits there and waits. And it's only then that I spot the assailant. He is where he should be, on the opposite building and luckily, Leonardo is not where he should be on this building. And luckily, the gun man hasn't seen me either.

Part of me wants to go and kill the assailant but the other part, the rational part, that doesn't appear much, just wants to get Leonardo and return home before anything happens. For once, the rational side wins.

Staying to the shadows and scaling the building, I emerge on the rooftop a few feet from Leo. He still hasn't seen me. I find this a bit odd, he's usually on full alert … but I suppose the New York skyline can be captivating.

I move closer to him.

"Psst … Leo"

He still sits unmoving.

I move even closer.

" … Leo"

Now he must just be playing with me, he had to have heard that but is ignoring me. Why is it the only time he wants to play games is when we are both in danger.

I move even closer and shake him.

His body falls back into mine and I scramble to catch him. His eyes are drawn back in surprise; his mouth a little open and the bullet hole in the middle of his forehead is still slowly dripping blood.

I scream …

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Michelangelo's P.O.V.

I scream ...

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	3. Chapter 3

Hope you enjoy and the wait was worth it. Good luck in 2007 to everyone.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this storyline.

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Michelangelo's P.O.V.

I scream …

So to does Donny but I can't see him for the chains keep me fastened to the cold, hard, surgical table.

The surgeons move quickly to remove the mind probe and after releasing me from my chains, I slump to the floor.

Donny is still screaming and fighting the surgeons as they try to free him. I see a guard walk over and punch him a few times in the gut, causing his cries to lower to a continual moan and his fighting to cease. As the guard walks past me, I shrink back; I learnt long ago not to mess with them. I still bear the scars of when I was younger, more ignorant and I thought I could take them on.

Finally Donny too is realized and slumps to the ground. I crawl over to him and pull his unwilling body into an embrace. I feel his body shuddering from what we have just went through. Yet thankfully, we are still alive. But how many more times can we go through this, how much more can we survive … I've already lost Donny to insanity.

As if on cue, Donny jerks forward and throws up what little food he had in his stomach. Most of it is bile but he has again lost the little nutrients his body takes in. He won't survive much longer. We are both filthy and skinny, there isn't much meat on Donny and I'm not that far behind him. Wouldn't Raphael be proud …

The door then slides open … and the Shredder walks in. Everyone in the room immediately drops to their hands and feet and bows low to the ground. I follow too and try and pull Donny down with me. This proves slightly difficult. He is rigid in place and talking to himself again, running over old calculations, talking to Raphael and Leonardo like they are here in the room. It makes me sick in the stomach.

The Shredder walks over to us.

"I hope you enjoyed that experience" He says "I certainly enjoyed watching you both squirm on the table. It is a fantastic piece of Utron technology don't you think?" he gloats.

He walks over to Donny.

"However, what has forever fascinated me is how Donatello broke first. I guess his mind was too scientific to take the overflow of images" he then turns to me "You on the other hand Michelangelo can still tell the difference between reality and illusion. I wonder how much longer you will last?"

He begins to walk away but stops at the entrance to the room.

"You know I can make it all end" he whispers "Just tell me where your family is and I will kill you both quickly and painlessly"

As usual, he waits for an answer and as usual, I give him none. Donny just continues to ramble to an imaginary Master Splinter about his latest invention.

"I guess not" The Shredder murmurs after a few moments. He waves his hand towards us "Lock them in their cell"

At that, the guards pull out their batons and advance. Again, I learnt long ago not to resist but Donny in his present state has lost all his reasoning.

Therefore he lashes out at the guards, swinging an imaginary Bo Staff but soon is brought under control by the force of the guards baton strikes. I also learnt running in to help Donny only fueled the fire and we both ended up more battered then if I just let them take Donny down.

Grabbing us by our arms, they literally drag us down the long corridors that make up Shredders castle. Though we are both able to walk, like most of the treatment here, the act is demoralizing. After awhile we come to the door of our cell and are throw in. The strong, metal door slams shut behind us yet we also learnt long ago trying to break it down or stop it from shutting only resulted in starvation rations and broken bones.

Crawling over to where Donny was thrown, I collapse beside him. Donny immediately snuggles into me and I hold him as he continues to tell Raphael why wrestling is staged. I listen for awhile to his rambling and only move when the shoot his opened and our dog styled food comes in.

I crawl over and retrieve our meal. The meal is barely enough for one person but it is meant for two. Crawling back to Donny, I hold his head while he gulps down some of the food. Yet, like always, his weaken body throws it up no longer then a few minutes after he has eaten it. And that is how we live, among our own vomit and faeces. At first Donny tried to keep this place a little clean and sanitary but after we tried to escape through the bathroom and Donny dropped into insanity, the bathroom was banned for us and I don't have the sanitation knowledge that Donny has … had. Our only "service" here is we get a bath once a month and our "cell" is "refurbished" with new straw.

Going back for the water, I am grateful when Donny drinks a little and doesn't bring it back up. At least his body has replaced some of the lost nutrients and he might be able to fight another day …

After eating my small meal and drinking the water, I help Donny shift over to our bed. It is nothing but some straw on the cold, hard stone floor but it is the cleaned bit of the cell and sometimes the warmest. Settling him down, I lie on my back next to him and wrap one arm around him. He again snuggles into my side and slips off into a hopefully, dreamless sleep.

I look at the ceiling over our small cell; the roof is so low it is impossible to stand up without bending our necks. In light of this, I used a stolen spoon to draw pictures into the stone work. Eventually, the guards found the spoon and beat me for taking it. That was in those first days when I still had hope of being rescued. When I still had hope Donny and I would get out alive. Basically, when I still had hope.

When the Shredder began his fight to take over the world, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Master Splinter and I joined the resistance. But the Shredder was too far ahead in his plans and was soon ruling America before moving onto the rest of the world. After awhile, all the other resistance branches in other countries were destroyed, members executed and sympathizes dragged into labour camps. Eventually there was only us to continue the fight with the Shredder. And we were only an ant on his foot. In a desperate attempt, we broke into Shredders castle hoping to assassinate him. However, he knew we were coming; we had a rat in our ranks. So when the time became right and we struck, we walked right into a trap. Only Raphael and Leonardo got away, I was taken down by some foot soldiers and only Donny knew. Of course he came back to save me but we were both caught. Raphael and Leonardo probably only knew we were missing once they arrive back at the resistance stronghold; we had been in separate teams.

So now Donny and my life revolved around daily torture, being subject to the mind probe, starvation rations and the destruction of hope. Not only that, I had to watch as I lost my brother to insanity, unable to withstand the power of the mind probe, and know there was nothing I could do. I was watching him waste away …

With these sad thoughts in my head and my heart, I drift off to sleep …

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	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this storyline.

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Michelangelo's P.O.V.

**CRASH**

I jolted awake.

Rough arms grab me as I attempt to turn to face my attackers. A cry off to my side alerts me to the fact that Donny was also grabbed. Hurled to my feet, I nearly have time to get my balance before I am dragged down the long corridors from our cell. Donny's constant complaining that Raphael was driving the car too fast assured me that he was being brought to.

But I still felt uneasy. The guards are excited. I can feel it. And that only ever means bad things …

My stomach drops even lower when we pass the room we were usually taken to, the "machine", and continue on. As we go deeper into the castle, my fears continue to grow. I turn to one of the guards.

"What's happening?"

SMACK

I spin away as he strikes me in the face.

"You'll learn soon enough" And he laughs

I feel sick.

Before I know it, we come to a pair of huge double doors which are thrown open as we near. Inside stands the Shredder in classic ceremonial dress. From his arrogant stance I know something bad was up. I begin to dig my feet into the ground, trying to stop …

**SMACK**

I was thrown to the floor, Donny following me seconds later. The guards kick us in our shells so we fall at the Shredders feet. I raise my head to look at him but the guard deals a sharp kick me to my face. I keep my head down. I resist the urge to spit the blood out of my mouth; instead it dribbles out of my mouth and down the side of my face. I feel the Shredder step around us.

"There was an attack on the castle last night" The Shredder murmurs. "Those 'resistance' friends of yours"

I feel a flare of hope in my stomach, a slight warm. Maybe …

"All those who weren't killed were arrested"

That hope dies.

I feel the Shredder knell in front of me and lift my head. He looks me straight in the eyes.

"They were coming for you" he whispers.

He drops his hand and my head goes back to the floor. Even Donny is silent for once.

The next second I am hurled to my feet again and dragged out onto Shredders private balcony. Chains are fastened around my wrists, locking them together and locking me to the balcony edge.

Having not been outside for so long, the light temporary blinds me. After blinking away the pain, I can see what Shredder has made of our world. It was sickening.

On my left for miles stretches the huge army barracks which call the castle home. Row upon row of long, skinny buildings houses all of the Shredders army from his ninjas to his soldiers and in the bigger buildings were his machines, tanks, planes etc. "That was what we had to fight" I think bitterly to myself, "we had no chance"

To my right rose the towers of Darkan, the internment camp, where Shredder found his work force. This was only one of many but it was by far the worst. The closer you were to the Shredder, the closer you were to death. People barely lived a few weeks, months if they were unlucky enough to be drafted into there. From Darkan, you could be sent into the castle as a servant, to the military barracks to be a cook, cleaner or target practice. Or worse, you could be sent into the mines beside Darkan. Least everywhere else you had a slim hope of surviving, something to hold to. The fact is, people go into the mines at Darkan, and they don't come out. They just "disappear".

Wondering what could be so horrible for us yet so great for the Shredder and worth us seeing, I continue to scan the area. Beneath was only the castle grounds, the buildings attached and the public execution ring …

And there was a large crowd present.

I let out a sad sigh. "So that's were the poor devils are" I think to myself bitterly "The resistance members who were caught. At least they will get a quick death and wont be kept here like us …"

Shredder must have seen where I was looking and leant forward.

"Look closer" he murmurs.

Looking a bit closer at the convicted, I see there are five of them standing along the platform with the rope already hanging around their necks. The first two were human, nobody I recognize, the third a bird of some sort.

"Shanti" I realize, remembering dearly the bird girl we rescued from one of the internment camps we raided. She was a fast learner, becoming one of our best scouts quickly. Soon she willd die. I sadly gave the last two a glance …

They were turtles …

"**LEO** …!!!"

A clawed hand wraps around my head and clamps over my mouth, stifling my scream. Struggling, screaming into the hand, twisting and turning trying to wrestle it away, brush it off, get rid of it, so close yet so far …

The Shredder punches me in the gut with his clawless hand and I drop to my knees, smacking my chin on the ledge. With the wind knocked out of me, he hurls me to my feet and pushes me up against the railing so I can watch the proceedings.

A palace official was walking in front of them all, no doubt reading out their convictions, why they were to be hung. Still trying to drag air into my lungs, I attempt to scream out their names, get their attention, let them know I was here; let them know I was alive …

Raphael and Leonardo. My brothers. Too hang for trying to save me.

I can see them so clearly now. They have changed, the time apart has changed them, yet they are still so the same. Leonardo stood not like a man about to be hung but as a warrior. He was straight-backed, standing proud, no hint of fear in his posture. I could see he had several serious wounds still bleeding, probably sustained in the fighting yet he didn't surcome to them. As the official walked in front of him and Leonardo turned slightly to follow him, I saw an imprint on his shoulder. A tattoo.

"The mark of a 'Battle Commander'" I thought. My brother was made 'Battle Commander'. As the 'Battle Commander', Leonardo was in charge of all the "resistances" army. He was the boss. He was my brother. Enormous pride engulfed me. Least he would die with the honour of that title.

Beside him was Raphael. Strong and defiant as always. As the official came closer, I see him lash out with the little strength he has left. He also has grievous wounds. After the guards on the platform subdue him, he was put back in his place and the official came back over to him, having been scared away. I saw Rapheal spit on him and felt pride for him to. At least Rapheal had got his one ultimate wish, he would go down fighting.

The executioner began to walk over to the leaver …

I spin to the Shredder.

"Please don't do this!" I beg "I'll tell you everything, just don't do this!"

The Shredder fixes me with a sick grin as tears ran down my face.

"What do I need you to tell me" he said, sweeping his hand to take in my brothers "once their dead, there is no resistance left. I have won" he looks at me "I don't need you"

The Shredder then raises his hand and brings it down in a sweeping motion.

Spinning back to the platform, I see the executioner nod and begin to pull …

"NOOO!!!" I scream as I clutch the railing.

Time slows ...

My cry travels down the tower, across the grounds and past the execution ring. Hearing my voice, my brothers slowly lift their heads and look in my direction. I saw realization dawn in them, in that second I felt my soul reach out and briefly touch theirs. Raphael went to scream …

They were gone from view. I felt my bond with them snap and the last I saw before I drop to the floor was their bodies dangling beneath, legs still kicking …

I threw up. I don't know what I had to throw up but it came up and wouldn't stop. Hysterically I threw myself at the ground, beat it, clawed it and just screamed. Hands grab me but I beat them off. I snarl, I bite and claw and even when a baton is smashed across my face and dazzles me, I do not stop. My chains are untied and I am dragged back into the Shredders main audience chamber.

Thrown to the ground, Donny beside me, I can see through my tear strewn eyes Donny throwing his head back, an inhuman noise coming from his throat.

He hadn't known what was happening but he felt the bond break. He felt them die. He knew they were gone.

It felt like I was being turned inside out. Like I was going to explode, hot flushes flooding through my body … they were gone.

Somebody hit me over the head with a baton. Once, twice, a third … blows fell on my arms, legs, shell until I was a sobbing, quivering mess on the floor. But the screaming had stopped. Looking over at Donny, I see three men holding him down as a gag is roughly tied into his mouth. They knew once he started, they would never stop him screaming.

The Shredder walked in front of us. He had won. He had broken us.

"I have no longer any need for you" he murmurs "Tomorrow you will take up your new position in the mines of Darkan"

And then he just turns and leaves. We were as much use to him now as a dead body. We would soon just be two more dead bodies on his conscience.

Unable to think, to feel or to move, I allow the guards to drag me back to our cell, laughing and jeering the whole way, to hit us a few times with their batons just for fun, the fact is, if they killed us, nobody would care. We would be dead soon enough …

We are eventually thrown into our cell, just dropped on the floor and the door slammed in our face. I do not have the strength or will to care that dinner is never brought for us, I have long ago forgotten what hunger felt like, now it is just an everyday thing which gnaws at you, I can not remember what it was like not to be hungry. I just lie there, Donny beside me, unusually quiet, not moving or talking, not comforting each other, just lying there and drifting between consciences and death yet never actually reaching it …

I must have fallen asleep as I woke up several hours later. I actually think I just blacked out as when I realized I was awake, I realized I didn't have to open my eyes, they were just open anyway. And they are now dry and itchy. Wanting to rub them, I move my arm from around Donny, "he must have snuggled up to me in the night" I though and stop when I feel how cold he is. He was not the usual cold, he was stone cold, deathly cold.

Fear gripping me, I get to my knees and with two hands shake him as hard as I can.

"NOO!!" I scream.

He does not move. He gave up. He died in the night. He left me here. He left me and went to our brothers. I am all alone.

Barely recognizing the sound, sitting there over my brother, my hands still clutching his cold shoulders, the guards opened our door and come in. I just sit there, broken, as they slaunter in, I don't register when they strike me for not turning to face them, I hardly move as another strikes me when I don't make an inclination that I felt the first hit. I just lie there on the floor, staring at the corpse of my brother, my last brother …

"Well this one is as good as dead" one of the guards says to the other, having just realized that Donny is dead. He spits on him. He spits on the corpse of my brother. He spits on Don.

The next second I'm on my feet, moments later, I feel my arms slip around the guards neck, little more then a millisecond later, I'm twisting with all the strength I have left in my body, twisting past exhaustion, twisting with all that I have knowing that after this last act, I will be no more, I will have no more use for my body and will never need it again, I twist with all I have …

I feel the pop as the guard's neck breaks; feel him fall limply into my grasp. I barely have time to savour victory as the other guards realize what had happened in those few seconds and spring towards me. As the first guard's baton falls on me, as their first kicks find my body, I drop to the floor and reach with my hand out to Donny. Just as I feel my hand connect with his, this one last time, I feel the kick to the head that finished me off, and I just fade away ...

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Donatello's P.O.V.

I jolt awake, barely remembering what I was dreaming the moment before yet knowing that it wasn't pleasant. A quick intact of breathe beside me forces me too hurriedly wrap my arms around Leonardo once more, letting him know I am still there and not going away. I just catch him in time before he sprung away, probably to wreck havoc on the first person he saw, whether it be Master Splinter, Michelangelo or Raphael before realizing I was still there and not in any harm, that we weren't in any harm … any more.

We were safe for now, but was everyone else safe. They didn't know about us, what we had done, what we could do, what Leo would do if he thought we were unsafe. They didn't know. They just thought we were still in shock after being rescued from the Shredders clutches. They thought I was just unusually quiet as I readjusted to everyday life. They just thought Leo was withdrawn because he had failed.

They thought wrong.

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Well long time no see people. Thank you to all the people who have been reviewing my work lately, it definitely prompted me to write this chapter. I hope you enjoyed! Please review!

P.s. Some fantastic stories circulating at the moment. Pat on the back to everyone!


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